Bring the Rain...

I came across this song by Mercy Me, when I was reading a blog, Bring the Rain written by an amazing christian woman, Angie Smith.  She has 5 daughters (one of which is an angel in heaven) and has written a book (I Will Carry You) about her grief and joy over the loss of her daughter, Audrey.  It has helped me so much during this difficult time in my life...I urge you to let the song play while you read my post.

When my mother-in-law, Tammie, was diagnosed with cancer on December 15, 2009, I was confused and could not understand how such a beautiful and healthy woman could be diagnosed with such a nasty disease.  I didn't question God, because I knew and still know God's plan for our lives is perfect and HE will NEVER bring us pain.  However,  I still didn't understand it.  For many months I watched her suffer through tough chemo days, be on and off oxygen several times, lose taste for food, mouth sores, coughing fits, in and out of the hospital several times...I could go on and on about what this disease did to her.  But, I have to tell you what it did NOT do to her.  It did not make her question her FAITH in our GOD.  Not once.  She never felt sorry for herself and like the sweet caring person she is, still put others before herself even during this difficult time in her life.  When I stumbled upon Angie's blog and heard the lyrics from Bring the Rain, I HAD to share them with Tammie.  When Nanny (Daniel's Grandma) was making a prayer quilt for Tammie, I knew I had to put these lyrics on there. 

The morning of January 18th, less than 2 weeks ago, Tammie gained her angel wings and entered the gates of Heaven.  Some might think that that the cancer won the battle, but how can we even think that when she is in the presence of our Jesus, pain-free, and walking with believers in paradise??  It really brings so much peace to my heart thinking about this.   

One of the things I am struggling with now, is how can I, as her daughter-in-law, help carry on her legacy to our sweet and precious gift, Briley Ann??  I want Briley to remember and know so many things about her.  I know that her Daddy, Papa, and Auntie will play a big role in this and I know that Nonnie (Tammie) will be looking down on Briley Ann many times in her life...when she goes to kindergarten for the first time, her first soccer game, dance recital, prom, graduation, college graduation, wedding, and even when her great-grand-babies are born!!  It brings a lot of peace to my mind knowing that Briley has her very own special angel in heaven that is always watching over her.  I know thinking about all of these things will help me not struggle so hard with helping Briley remember her Nonnie.  She will always remember and know her...because of HIM.

One other thing I have realized through all of this is God's timing is unbelievably amazing.  Daniel and I are so blessed to be welcoming another sweet baby into this world in June.  Tammie is getting to meet our precious little girl, Hadley. and hold her and tell her all about our family before she comes into this world.  Daniel and I decided one way to help our new sweet little girl remember her Nonnie is to give her the same middle name, D'Layne.  Hadley will also share this middle name with her Auntie!!  Hadley D'Layne Bufe.  How precious that time will be in June, when sweet Hadley is born and Nonnie will be watching us as we see her sweet face for the first time!!  I can't wait to share that moment with Daniel, Briley, and the rest of our family.

I am so blessed to be her daughter-in-law...

 Bring me joy, bring me peace
Bring the chance to be free
Bring me anything that brings You glory
And I know there'll be days
When this life brings me pain
But if that's what it takes to praise You
Jesus, bring the rain!!!

I hope this song brings you comfort as much as it has for me.