This sweet little face...
Just counted to 20 with me while we were playing outside!! She has been counting to 10 for a month now and her and I have been working on getting to 20 with our time at home. We were swinging outside and she would say a number and I would say a number and she made it to 20!! I am so proud of my sweet little girl.
My first day back at work was great. My kiddos were so well behaved and it felt SO GOOD to teach again. I have missed it A LOT. I can't tell you how many times today I heard, "Mrs. Bufe I'm so glad you're back". Melted my heart and made the day a lot easier.
But, boy was I happy to see my sweet family when I came home. We only have 7 weeks until summer break and I know it is going to fly by. Summer is going to be hard for our family, but I'm excited to make special memories with Daniel and Briley this summer. We are definitely going to Sea World and I can't wait!!
I can't end this post without thinking that it has been 6 weeks since Hadley went to Heaven. 6 weeks. I miss her more than anything in this world. Like I said, I had the best day at work but I was hurting like crazy in my heart today. I know I'm going to continue to have good days and continue to hurt. This Thursday is our 4th anniversary and we are going to our 1st MEND (Mother's Enduring Neonatal Death) meeting. I am looking forward to meeting families that are going through what we are and I know it seems a little odd to spend our anniversary going to a meeting but it just feels right. I hope going to meetings will bring me comfort in the coming months...
I realized something last night while I was in bed listening to it rain. I was feeling pretty helpless with my pain and then a thought came to my mind and I want to write it down here so I won't forget it. My pain isn't going to go away until I'm in heaven, but while I'm here I'm going to let God control it. If I try to control it, it's going to overtake me. I have to give my pain to him. He is tough enough to handle it and I'm not.
He loves me that much.
In Christ's Love,