Wednesday, October 24, 2012

Day 22, 23, 24

Day 22 {Place of Care/Birth}
We were so blessed to have an amazing team of doctors, nurses, etc. around us when we lost Hadley.  They did absolutely everything they could for her and me.  On Hadley's 1st birthday we took flowers to our favorite nurse, Shelly.  I will forever remember the wonderful things she did for us during our 3 week stay in the hospital.

Day 23 {Their Name, Their Photo}
It has taken us over a year to feel comfortable sharing her photo with others.  It's something so sacred to Daniel and I and has really taken time for us to process what those beautiful pictures mean to us.  I have a lot of guilt for not taking more, not taking some with her, not taking a picture as a family...that guilt finds me a lot on certain days and it HURTS.  I get a lot of anxiety about it...I think about the fact that she's alone in her pictures...we weren't there to hold her, kiss her, hug her.  I get sick to my stomach and then I have to remember that she is NOT alone in these pictures.  She is being held by Jesus.  I can't let my guilt take over and forget that. 
I know God doesn't want me to continue to hurt over that.  Her name gallery book has helped so much with a lot of that guilt.  Speaking of her book it came in the mail yesterday!!  
It's beautiful.
It's perfect.
It's Hadley.
I can't say thank you enough to the family and friends that sent it all of the pictures of her name!!  If you didn't get a chance to see the digital version yet click here.

Day 24 {Their Sibling}
We talk to Briley about Hadley A LOT.  She knows she lives in Heaven with Nonnie, Jesus, and God.  Does she get it yet?  No.  Does she know what happened to her sister?  No.  But she will one day and I hope I'm prepared for that.  I know she will truly grieve for the sister she isn't getting to experience life with.  I pray God wraps His arms so tight around our family the day she truly understands that her sister isn't here and isn't coming back.  I pray God will give her tremendous peace in her heart and that she will know she will be reunited with her sister in Heaven. 

~Melissa

1 comment:

Payton&Jake's Mommy said...

Hadley is so beautiful Melissa. Thank you for sharing your precious baby girl with us. <3 Praying for your feelings of guilt to ease. I love the pictures of Hadley's name gallery and your Christmas ornaments, each are beautiful.